It is almost 12 years since this blog took shape as a 31-day writing challenge, where I shared my journey through major depression and how God carried me and taught me along the way. I praise His Name for never having left me nor my family throughout this terrible illness, whose long-term and far-reaching effects fuel its relentless cycle.
God carries us still. I am happy to have experienced years of remission since then, and I have witnessed the same in my beloved sister, who also fights this war. But the skirmishes and battles continue to arise. There have been times of despondency and confusion, times of angst and agony, not only in my own suffering but also in helplessly witnessing her mental and emotional anguish. I have been angry, sad, overjoyed, hopeless, at peace -- and everything in between -- living with this thing called depression. And on more than one occasion, it has brought me to my knees to beg God to make a way where there was simply no way.
He did. He does. It might not look like what I want or expect it to be, but I know deep down (usually more than I feel) that He is always there -- carrying me, carrying us. He is up to something, and it is far more wonderful than I can begin to understand. We live in a topsy-turvy world, where what is low is high in His Kingdom, and what seems broken to us is, instead, a vessel for His great glory. I continually need this reminder.
It gives me much comfort to know that, relatively speaking, the war we face in these fragile bodies is as fleeting as the glint in a teary eye. The victory, on the other hand -- His victory -- is certain, eternal, and greater than the sum of every sparkling star in the darkest night sky.
Kim Walker-Smith, "On My Side"
I invite you to revisit the original posts that got me started, Where Depression Meets Grace: 31 Days in the Hands of the Healer.
You might also enjoy dipping into some of the later entries, like On Broken Wings, one of my favorites.
I am still here, fighting the "good fight," and if you do find yourself in this place -- again or for the first time -- please drop me a line in the comments or at inthehandsofthehealer@gmail.com, and I will be delighted to get back to you.
May God bless you as you resolve each day to put your life in the Hands of the Healer!
"H" is for
Healed by His Wounds
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