Flipping Rocks

Old Cobbled Road

Fear and shame are like stones. They are hard (to control), heavy (to bear), and set upon dark foundations (lies) where light cannot penetrate. Sometimes they come in patterns that seem rational and even attractive. I should be suffering or I deserve to suffer.

Rock Pile and Twigs

Other times they come in disordered piles, fear stacked upon fear, shame stacked upon shame. Seemingly at random. But it's still the same darkness beneath, terrible and consuming. If we had our choice, we'd rather not go there. I can't look at this. I will always feel this way. Or so we think.

Stepping Stones

But we do go there. Down and down, step by step. Trying to get to the root of the problem. Often we need a fellow traveler to help us go there, to encourage us to walk where we are afraid to walk, look where we are ashamed to look.

We see things we'd rather not see. Soil compacted so much that it is petrified in its bed. Slimy mud that causes us to slip. Creepy crawlies that writhe, uncontrollably, in our mind's eye. Death and decay are also there, stealing whatever life we have -- right out of our grasp.

Paver with Lichens and Dead Leaf

We are lost -- and lose everything -- when we are terrified or groaning with guilt. About something. Someone. Something too dark or too bad to name. Someone who abused or used or misled us, and very often ourselves for falling victim to, instigating, or being deceived by ___________ (fill in the blank with anything sordid).

There is something beautiful, though, about flipping rocks.

What once was dark now is light. Suffocated soil is free to breathe. Bugs scatter in every direction in the dazzling brightness. And one by one, the cares, troubles, worries, evils, lusts, sins -- all of them at the root of our deepest fears and shame -- begin to dissipate.

Our bonds are loosened. Our perceptions changed. Our hearts healed.

And we are free to go on our way.

Healed By His Wounds

To the dear friend who inspired me to write this today,

and

To the faithful counselor who gave me the idea in the first place,

THANK YOU.

~ Skipping on over to Playdates with God