Day 12: PURPLEphase

A New Phase Begins

"The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory. Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended."

~ Isaiah 60:19-20

I remember there was a time in my early teenage years when purple was it. I've always loved colors of all hues, but in this one I found something special.

In the midst of all the changes and challenges of growing up, as I was only beginning to learn who I was and what made me unique, perhaps this was one little way in which I found something of my own that I could hold onto. Something strong and steady, like purple mountains' majesty and the splendor of royal robes (I went through a "medieval" phase around the same time!).

During those early years, depression was something uncharted and unacknowledged in my life. I watched one of my closest family members live under the torment of uncontrollable fear thoughts, and from my own experience, I remember struggling with obsessive-compulsive symptoms like counting, cleaning, and other repetitive thoughts and behaviors that plagued those transitional years.

Two decades later, the purple phase has pretty much passed. So have most of the OCD-like symptoms, although fear-based thought patterns occasionally re-surface (now I'm seeing, one of the ways in which my depression manifests). Thankfully, between good, persistent medical treatment and counseling, these symptoms are no longer debilitating.

I'm also aware of something else, a heart change that's been at the root of this healing journey I'm on. Rather than childish whims, now I draw my strength and stability from the true Source: the One Who never changes and never leaves my side. He tells me not to worry, for "perfect love casts out fear" (I John 4:18), and I believe that He is daily working out that promise in me, bringing it to the surface for all to see. In the meantime, in the waiting period of this life -- when I cannot see -- I trust.

I'm reminded of when a new moon looms on the horizon: we may doubt its existence, being "unlit," but it is there just the same -- and it is just as full, in fact, but only on the side unobserved by earthbound eyes. For us to see the "full picture," I'm learning -- whether it be lunar or lived -- it takes more than our perception. Ultimately, it takes hope and it takes trust.

These are gifts to us from the most High and Mighty King Himself. For

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

~ James 1:17

Praise God that there are no phases, only absolutes, in the Love and Mercy that He daily showers upon His children!

Hallelujah!

 

Healed By His Wounds

For this week's "Color of Depression" series, click here. 
You can also find more about The Nester's 31 Day Challenge
and an up-to-date list of my posts at
Where Depression Meets Grace: 31 Days in the Hands of the Healer.
God bless you for visiting.
 

~ Sharing with Still Saturday and The Weekend Brew